faith - James Pence

Finding My Way Back

June 5, 2024

A Deconstruction Observed, Pt. 25 It’s difficult to describe what the darkest part of my journey felt like. After realizing that the science behind evolution was correct, I went into a spiritual freefall and ultimately found myself standing at the edge of atheism—a place I’d never expected to be. After all, I’d believed in God from the time I was a child and I’d placed my faith in Jesus when I was a young teen. I’d felt called to ministry and gone to Bible college and seminary. I’d spent decades in some form of full-time ministry. God had always been …

Reading Can Be Hazardous to Your Confirmation Bias

March 20, 2024

What caused me to examine and dismantle my fortress of certainty? You might call it a sea change in my thinking. If you're not familiar with the term, a sea change is usually defined as a marked change or transformation. How did it happen? I'm not entirely sure, but here's my best guess.

Fortress of Certainty

March 11, 2024

A Deconstruction Observed Pt 19 I didn’t choose to go through a faith deconstruction, but I certainly set myself up for it. In fact, I laid the foundation years before my crash even started. The irony is that one (but by no means the only) cause of my deconstruction was the fortress of certainty I built around my faith to “strengthen” it. I was a self-taught Christian for the early portion of my faith journey. I came to faith in Christ through a Billy Graham telecast and my education was through cassette tapes, mostly from Walter Martin (cults) and Hal Lindsey (end …

The Problem with Buried Questions: They Keep Coming Back.

September 5, 2023

A Deconstruction Observed It was an innocent question but based on my friend’s reaction you’d have thought I’d denied the Trinity. “If God is eternal and unchangeable,” I posited, “how could he take on human nature? Wouldn’t becoming a man be a fundamental change in God’s nature?” My friend looked horrified, almost as if he expected lightning to strike me at any moment. “You should be careful about asking questions like that!” he cautioned. Yet asking questions had become a major part of my Christian life. The year was 1974. It was my sophomore year of college and I was …

Reflections on Deconstruction

July 26, 2023

What is deconstruction? I can describe what it feels like better than I can explain what it is. Deconstruction feels like walking alone through a pitch-black forest. It’s the unsettling feeling you get when the ground you’re walking on becomes unstable…

Veterinarians, FBI Agents, and Preachers, Oh My!

September 10, 2022

Veterinarians, FBI agents, and Preachers, (Oh, my!) “I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard the deposit I have entrusted to him (2 Timothy 1:12b NRSV). I never planned to be an altar boy. It just happened. After I survived catechism and my confirmation service, I was standing around at the reception when a man I’d never met came up to me and congratulated me on my confirmation. Then he said, “Altar server training starts in a couple of weeks. Saturdays at 10 a.m.” Nonplussed, I paused …

Childish Faith

September 3, 2022

Photo by David Beale on Unsplash A Childish Faith (A Deconstruction Observed, Part 3)by James Pence 17 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Luke 18:17 NIV). The details are fuzzy (it was 56 years ago after all), but something changed in me the day our priest, Father Clarke, put his hand on my head and blessed me. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say something awakened in me. Before then, prayers were something I recited from rote before bed every night. And church was just …

Sneaking Communion, and Priestly Blessings

August 27, 2022

Image by Robert Cheaib from Pixabay August 26, 2022 – Sneaking Communion and Priestly Blessings 13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them (Mark …