My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalm 73:26).
New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Okay, it’s time to be honest.
Yes. I’m frightened. The current situation in the world and in the US, particularly the uncertainty of it all, are very distressing to me.
It’s also confession time. You might not know this about me. Only a handful of people do. I’ve battled anxiety and depression most of my life.
In my last post I said that as a suspense/thriller writer, my mind naturally goes to the worst-case scenario. It would have been more accurate to say, “Because my mind routinely goes to the worst-case scenario, I’m a natural suspense/thriller writer.”
Even when I’m not facing a crisis such as this, my mind tends to plumb the depths of the worst that could happen in any given situation. Fear is a spectre that frequently comes to haunt me in the middle of the night, and I’ve lost more than a little sleep to worry. I won’t go into all of the things that I’m afraid of. That would be tedious. And it would take much too long. Instead I will appeal to the Peanuts comic where Lucy is trying to get Charlie Brown to identify his fear.
Lucy asks, “Do you have pantophobia?”
Charlie replies, “What’s pantophobia?”
Lucy says, “The fear of everything.”
“THAT’S IT!!!” Charlie shouts.
Yep. That’s it. (An aside: Charlie Brown was my favorite comic character when I was a kid. I identified deeply with him.)
Anyway, all that to say that dealing with fear, anxiety, depression, and so on has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. And learning how to trust God with my fear has also been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
It’s easy to say, “Don’t be afraid” or to quote applicable Bible verses, but unless we invest serious time and thought into the “whys” of not being afraid or the “hows” of trusting God, such comments and verses are little more than trite phrases and empty platitudes.
So, at least for the next few posts, I’m going to try my best to share how I deal with fear in general and, more specifically, how I am approaching the uncertainty of the present times.
This post is already getting too long, so I’m just going to leave you with one thought, based on the verse at the beginning of this post: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I wrote in my last post that God is lord of the worst-case scenario. That’s true, but that perspective can lead to a kind of theological fatalism, a que sera, sera (what will be, will be) attitude. Yes, God is lord of the worst-case scenario. But, more important, he is my portion. I like how the NLV translates that phrase: “He is mine forever.”
I can face down the worst-case scenario because God is my portion, my inheritance. I am his and he is mine.
Even if I lose everything (Habakkuk 3:17-19), I can rejoice.
Why?
Because I have him.
(More on this next time. If you want to add your thoughts, please comment below. A note to all commentors: Please leave your politics at the door. I review all comments and will not allow them through if they are political, argumentative, or contentious.)
Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
New Living Translation (NLT)Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Holly, you are a beautiful writer, and I loved your analogy of the fish!
So true! To know the peace that passes all understanding, to be able to truly dwell in it, one has to sloowww doownn, to be bathed in the Silence that opens our souls to the God who is everywhere and all at once! When my husband died after many years of terminal illness, I thought I was used to captaining my own ship, well prepared to face widowhood. Nope! What ensued were lots of gut-wrenching nights worrying about when the savings ran out, what was I going to do. But, as I kept repeatedly offering it up to Jesus, watching for open doors, one amazing incident after the other happened, meeting ALL my needs, when I needed. Slowly, my hard head absorbed the reality of the divine Love I was living in, moving in, drawing my being from. I was swimming in it like a fish swims in the sea, and yet a fish isn’t aware of being held, bathed, buoyed by the water. It can’t separate itself from the water! That’s what the love of God does for us, even when we aren’t aware. We are loved! We are loved! We are always loved, cherished, protected, covered by Wisdom, destined for glory which we haven’t earned and don’t deserve. Nonetheless, we are a creatures of Love, as the fish is a creature of water. We dwell in safety, for our God reigns. Thanks be to God!
What a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing, Holly!
I applaud your honesty. Christians sometimes seem to feel and say that fear is ungodly. I don’t think so. I believe that fear was given to us by God so that we will turn to Him in times of trouble and uncertainty. He wants us to rely on Him.
I give you the following analogy. Christians are not supposed to sin but they still do. Scripture shows us where we fall short of Gods holy standard of behavior. When we realize we still sin and can’t measure up to that standard, we look to Jesus to save us and make us acceptable to God.
God uses both fear and sin as tools to bring us to Him.
Thank you, Nancy! Yes, I agree that fear serves to help us focus on what is important and causes us to turn to God in times like this. We should never be controlled by fear, but we should see it as a means of turning our hearts to Him.