A Deconstruction Observed — Pt. 23
It was so mesmerizing, I forgot to look through my binoculars.
I’m talking about the recent eclipse, of course (aka The Great North American Eclipse of 2024). I’d been looking forward to it for seven years—ever since the partial eclipse of 2017. That’s when I learned that I lived in the path of totality for the 2024 edition.
This would be my fourth eclipse and my first total eclipse. In 1984, Laurel and I experienced a “ring of fire” annular eclipse in New Orleans. It got very dark, but because the moon doesn’t fully cover the sun in an annular eclipse, we didn’t get to see totality. Then in 2017 and last October (2023) we got to see partial eclipses. But for me, the “brass ring” would be to see totality.
Why? I wasn’t totally sure. But everybody said it would be amazing.
But after seven years of eager anticipation, I woke up Monday, April 8th, to thick overcast skies. I figured the eclipse would be a bust and I would miss my only shot at seeing totality. It wasn’t a surprise. They’d been predicting unfavorable skies for a couple weeks. I knew I couldn’t control the weather and was resigned to making the best of whatever we did get to see.
But as the morning wore on and the sun occasionally peeked through the clouds I grew more hopeful.
During the hour of the partial eclipse preceding totality the clouds came and went, and my hopes fell and rose in perfect synchronization. Even in the final minutes before totality it looked like a large thick cloud would spoil the experience.
But then, literally in the last minute, a window opened up.
“We’re going to get to see it!” I said.
We watched through our eclipse glasses until the “diamond” disappeared. Then we took them off and gazed into the sky.
I don’t have any words to describe it. The few words that come to mind: amazing, awesome, magnificent, fantastic, all fall short.
For a little over four minutes, I watched the sun’s corona, radiating out from behind the moon. Occasionally, wispy clouds enhanced the view, adding a dose of animation and mystery. I didn’t want to look away for anything. I even forgot that I had binoculars at the ready, only a few feet away. I didn’t want to take my eyes off this sight for even a few seconds.
When the diamond ring appeared and it was time to put the eclipse glasses on again, I knew I’d experienced something special.
A TRANSCENDENT EXPERIENCE
I’m a writer and words are my stock in trade, but I have no words for what I saw during those four minutes of totality. The usual words (awesome, amazing, mind-blowing, etc.) aren’t adequate. Something was different about seeing totality in person rather than on a video or in a photo.
The best word I can come up with is transcendent.
Prior to the eclipse I said that if it was cloudy it would be okay because we’d still get to experience totality (i.e. it would get dark) but we just wouldn’t see the best part.
I was wrong.
Oxford defines transcendent as: “beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience.” That seems about right. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event that was so unique that (unless I become an eclipse chaser, and at 68 that’s not likely) I will never experience again.
For me, it was like standing at the intersection of faith and science.
THE INTERSECTION OF FAITH AND SCIENCE
Scientists are able to predict down to the second when an eclipse will occur, and they can predict it hundreds of years in advance. Indeed, eclipses have been predicted since the days of the Babylonians.
As many of my brothers and sisters in Christ posted following this eclipse, this shows that God created an orderly, predictable universe, a testament to his power in creation. Psalm 19:1 is often quoted in these posts: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”
I agree. And as I stood there in awe, looking at an indescribably beautiful sight, I said, “Thank you, Lord.”
For me, that four minutes of awe embodied what the psalmist meant when he wrote, “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” (Psalm 8:3-4). The heavens did indeed declare the glory of God for me in that moment.
But it also reminded me that God gave us intellect and the ability to calculate the order of those heavens down to the microsecond. And because of that we knew exactly when and where to go to see a total eclipse. Christian and non-Christian alike all trusted the accuracy of science so we could see God’s amazing creation through a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Yet when it comes to the science of geology (age of the earth), or climate science (climate change), or the science of epidemiology (infectious disease control), or the science of evolution, many of my brothers and sisters in Christ conclude that science has to be wrong because it disagrees with our interpretation of the Bible.
My deconstruction began because I could no longer accept that.
And the sad thing is that many young people deconstruct, not because they want to sin more or because they want to have more sex or any of the other crazy things prominent church leaders have accused them of; they deconstruct because they have only been taught to look at the world through young-earth creationist glasses. But when they get to college or university and are confronted with reality, with science, the glasses come off. And their worldview collapses just like mine did.
Sometimes they reconstruct and adjust. Other times they leave the faith entirely.
My story of deconstruction and reconstruction is one of learning to live at the intersection of faith and science. It’s been a scary process at times. I’ve had to rethink a lot of things.
But there’s no place I’d rather be.
And I’m glad that God’s there with me.
***
[Note: I won’t be posting next week. I’ll be in Raleigh, NC, attending the Biologos Faith and Science conference. In two weeks, I’ll pick up the story, focusing on what sustained my faith in Christ, how I got through the dark forest, and how I reconstructed.]